AbuseIt happens. Generally it works unimpeaded. We fear rejection far far more than we ever fear it. Selfish uncarying acts, cruel words and the fist and boot of lovers, husbands, bosses parents and other such jailors hurt, yet we stay and take them.
Our TragedyThese prisons are of our own construction. Real jailors have bars, locks and keys but bosses, spouses, lovers and parents do not need such devices. We are imprisoned by what seems nothing but is everything, our abject fear of rejection.
Why should this be? Why has it evolved? What is its function? It surely has one. Why would we choose to maintain such a thing especially as it leads us to fear what we may love when it brings such huge hurt into lives and conditions our behaviour every second of the day.
Modern HerosNot only do we willing accept our many prisons but we also indulge ourselves in higher order levels of abuse of which often we are not even aware. As the mass of us scurry around constructing strategems to avoid rejection some many salesman drive through this fear and sally forth to embrace the rejection integral to their livelihood.
Salesman are looked down upon by many. They often sell only becasue they fear their boss and job loss more than they fear their myriad rejections. Sales people are the heros of our age, the bravest of the brave driven by their own fear of rejection perhaps but still sallying forth daily on to confront and overcome our deepest first level fear to find then embrace the customer.
We find their offer joy. We know on entry to the salesroom, with money in our pocket,. that we will find no rejection. If rejection comes it will be by us not them. What power. We have the blissful certainty of acceptance. They a high probability of rejection and we despize them?
the best of them do not care because they earn more than the reat of us can even imagine but the average Joe dies in his soul if not necessarily in his outward spirit - "Death of a Salesman"
Rejection and Abuse
If
rejection is so horrific ought one not we begin to consider whither on the evidence facing us that rejection is more profound in its abuse than abuse itself. To mark out your being, property and feelings as non available to others, rejection, is clearly something we all fear. Is a violent response to such rejection to be labeled as unacceptable while the rejection itself acceptable?
Only through the generation of a general expectation of non-judgemental, foregiveness and giving could our deep rooted fear of rejection be eliminated and with it the abuse with which it is associated. Unfortunately we are rejected because their is something we can be threatened with exclusion from, someone elses life, care, property or body. All such exculusions are a threat to human at oneness. Our egos seem require us each to feel we have individual meaning but our survival requires us to care for each other in either in a direct personal social manner or an the indirect personable market manner of the salesman.
The solution proposed to the dilemma of abuse would thus seem unworkable. It would require an egoless humanity, giving freely of love and property. Is this posssible is it likely. The world described has been advocated throughout human existence by many great human beings. Yet it only fitfully splutters into life for short periods of time generally for part of their lifetime before dying back or being overwhelmed by the exclusive distortions their disciples seem to invariably inject into the original inclusie vision. We are even capable of carrying these exclusive distortions to the level at which we actively practice them with dividing walls, gas chambers, ethnic cleansing, th ekilling fields of Gambodia or the macheties of Rwanda. To wish for, believe in or advocate free love and giving does not make it so. Exclusiveness and so rejection and the abuses this then engenders seem endemic and cannot be wished or preached away.
HopeIt may not be ished away but just perhaps it could be evolved away and this might just be the age when it could be.
We are at the dawn of an era where value is ceasing to be driven by the owenership of property in natural resources human effort or machines. Knowledge is the newest driver of cost and value and knowledge has charateristics setting it apart from its predecessors.
First it is extremely difficult to put boundaries around. Were does one persons idea or vision start and an others begin?
Second to be useful it has to be broadcast so that anyone can access it.
Third when broadcast if one person takes and uses a bit of it for themselves this does not lessen what is availabe for others.
Here we have a productive resource which has as its essence a difficulty to exert exclusiveness over, a need to be shared and put out their to be usefull and that once made available can never subsequently be used up. So when it exists rejection from it is difficult and actually pointless. The problem is that it does consume other resources, food, shelter, transport, etc to bring it into being in the first place. This can and is being achieved as we speak and describing the proceesses involved is the prime purpose of our book, "The Global.Silk Road". For present purposes let us assume it can be done. If it can then, physical property, the reason for much rejection and the abuse that accompanies it will be gone.
Greater HopeThis new economic age has been called by some network capitalism but this is a misnomer. Capital is a very small part if any of the story. A new word needs to be coined as this age most definitely is not built on capital (machines) but on knowledge (human creativity) . Napoleon Hill wrote what on emust now see as a prophetic book about this called "Think and Grow Rich". What we conceive of and believe in as human beings has a wonderful tendency to come to be. This took millenium, then centuries then decades and now modern technology has gone this down to a few years at most.
However eliminating concern about rejection from our physical needs goes only a little way to eliminate our emotional and spiritual needs. This is true but a growing global socio- economic phenomena is spontaneously coming into being that even addresses that. It is variously called network marketing (NM) or multi-level marketing (MLM). This has a number of features pertinent to our tale. It aims to free people from employment so they can have no boss to threaten to reject or bully them. Second it requries them to be salespeople at the very least in sight of those they no and love. To be effective in this individual participants have to learn to overcome their fearof rejection by others. All (NM) systems make some effort at this but the very best are excellent at providing the support people need to break through the barrier to their progress set by their own fear of rejection.
You can, we all can, learn not to fear rejection and when we do not fear it rejection is no longer soemthing we have to deal with because for us it never occurs. If more and more of us get to be that way even the idea of rejection the possibility fades from view. We will know that whomsover we approach they will repond gladly to our connection and while perhaps not yet ready for what we have to offer will give of themselves to each and every one who approaches them.
This leaves free love as a consumation still to be wished for by many although their is some evidence that in the present younger generation sexual love is not something one has to be excluded from and that rejection in its pursuit is less likely. However the emotional connection is as as if not more important to the young than the rest of us. So I think sexual love completely free of the fear of rejection is not yet upon us so in this sphere at least we have perhaps still got to wish for something that may not be consummated.
Even there we should not despair because if someone can think then speak the concept then like "Think and Grow Rich" I am sure we can, "Think and Grow Love", and some few thoughtful caring people already have. With the right dynamics we can all be rich and love and be loved and abuse will then be gone from, "The Way"
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